It's windy outside. Makes it harder to feel the sun, and easier to feel cold.

Also, have been wearing sweats all day, and by all day I truly mean all day. Also also have been lazy-as-balls.

Must be productive at some point today/tonight, so I am making myself a to-do list. On LJ, no less. 

To-Do List of Doom
find (free) sheet music for song that is stuck in my head
fill out the pretty paper sitting on the table
print stuff
clean out car (this will not get done tonight. No matter what I tell myself. Yet, I still continue to hope.)

It really is. So much has happened. So much has changed, for better and for worse. SO much has happened, and I know personally I've changed so much.

Today has been spent reminiscing. Reading old IM conversations, reading old things written, thinking about things...just reminiscing nostalgically. For better or for worse.

But I can't believe, thinking back, how far things have come in a year. It's incredible.

There's not much else I want to say. But it's nice to go back to those thousands of memories and just remember, even the ones that have been so mushed together that I hardly remembered them anymore.

I've said it before, but it's been one HELL of a year, and, thinking back, I wouldn't change a damn thing. And I guess, when it comes down to it, that's really all that matters.

Peace.

What the fuck? What the fuckity fuck fuck fuck?

Seriously.

WHAT THE FUCK?

It's like...

I just don't know what else to say.

Fuck.

Such much fun this weekend...

I love my friends SO much. Especially shopping with them.

Hee hee so many great things I didn't need that I now have, some of which are just amazing. :P

So tired from not getting enough (scratch that- practically no) sleep, and now I have to read an entire book for English tomorrow. An ENTIRE book. Which is why I'm on here, procrastinating. Urgh. Not good, not good at all. However, it's 8:00. Book is 123 pages long. I can do this. I can DO THIS.

Superbowl- gay *cue explosion* (almost as gay as Chico's!)

So many quotes from this weekend. Not enough energy to post them.

Did I mention I love my friends?

So...
last week's Grey's (shuttup, okay? I really like that show. And it's on tonight. I was refreshing my memory.) brought me to tears. OhmahGawd. Like sniffling, whimpering, eyes-get-all-crinkly tears. Just the end. It was like BAM here's-your-life-transcribed-on-the-glowy-screen-look-at-it lookatit. So good. And so, so, unbelievably sad.

I'm such a girl.

I'm about to take a nap before my dreaded Fiction class, because my roommate and I are both dying of exhaustion.

Nothing terribly exciting to report. Funny Chem class, but nothing too extraordinary.

Life's a funny sort of thing, innit?

I'm almost done my book, which makes me sad because it's a good book and I've only just really gotten into it, and devoured half last night, so I've only got the ending left now :( And I bet in fiction we have to start Heart of Darkness, which I am dreading. However, HoD makes me think of English AP last year, and that makes me think of Wuthering Heights, which makes me think of Felix- "C'mere boy, put on your jacket!" Ahhh good times. We were such little geniuses- I remember when we were all a different character, and we made it so we all met up at the crossroads- Mrs. Cohoon was so excited haha.

Yesterday in acting I got to be a little kid martian from Mars. Good stuff.

No classes on Friday. Woot. I do have a work call though, I think, if I want to go. I

Speaking of work, work tomorrow. Yay money, boo work. Grey's tomorrow!! :D Although the everyone-falling-down previews were a little...strange. Hmmm. Don't disappoint me, Grey's. Just...don't.


Naptime!!

Quote of the Day:

"Where can we find carbon?"
(various answers from class)
"Where else can we find carbon?"
"...your mom."

I have homework to do that I really don't want to do. Really. It's Saturday night, for one thing. But if I don't do it tonight, I know I won't want to do it tomorrow, plus I have an acting thing at 2 and I know I'm just going to laze around tomorrow, more than likely. So, yeah. I should do that homework. But I'm sooooo (inexplicably) tired. And my room is warm. And it's comfy in my bed. And books are far away. Faaaarrrrr awwwwwaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy. Don't want to reeeeeeeeeeach theeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmm. Bleh.

Watching Corpse Bride. Ah how I lurve that movie. So many puns. Love Tim Burton. So much.

Sleep. No. Must. Homework. Must...do...homework...must...pass...college...must...not...procrastinate!!

Aergh. Precisely.

I DON'T WANNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA!
*ahem*

How is it almost Febuary already? Time's going by way too fast.

This time last year, play practice had just started up...good times.

My car is sick. I hope it's not terminal. If it is, I need another job.

I think I might throw my phone away. Ha! Not really. But it's a nice thought all the same.

I gots a purty shirt from Hot Topic yesterday with Kelsey and saw a ton of old high school people at the mall: Brittany, Justin, Aaron, Elliott, David W.--it was kind of awesome. Like a mini reunion. Awwwwww.

So much homework to do. Weekends aren't supposed to have so much homework. Ew. Maybe I'll be a hobo. They don't have homework. They do, however, have lice, and then I'd have to cut my hair. :( So I guess I'll just do the homework.

...

And that's all I have to say about that.

Dear ID,
Please come home. I miss you. You are my wonderful ID and I don't know why you ran away, because you were definitely safely and securely in my pocket when I got lunch. But then, yes, I changed pants, and when I went to find you again, you are not there. Where are you? Are you cold, lost, hurt, alone? Please, please, please come home because I really don't want to have to buy a new ID because they are expensive and I am, alas, poor. But without you my access to food is gone :(
Please come back. I'll buy you something. I'll never lose you again!
I miss you!
-Your lovely owner

"Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life."
- Anon

that's for you Danielle ;)

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
- Anon

I luff my friends. Like whoa.

Sleep now. Mucho tiredo.

Oooooh ahhhhh look at all the pretty pictures





Wooooot.



Isn't it, though?





Oh! The South Park version of me.


*Note the sniper RIFLE/in-my-world-it's-a-paintball-gun



PPS: Usericon? George could show me that glove anyday. Mmmmmm.
It's blustery outside. Hurricane Betina. Or maybe hurricane Metatransexual. I don't know. These names get crazier every year.

I thought instead of ranting today, because I don't feel like it (take THAT LJ :P) I found a couple of quotes that I love and shall post. Some are pretty, and some are just the kind you want to save for those rainy days.

"A final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works."
~T.E. Kalem

"It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses."
~Colette

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
~Winston Churchill

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."
~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

"'Old times' never come back and I suppose it's just as well. What comes back is a new morning every day in the year, and that's better."
~George E. Woodberry

And my favorite...

"When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal."
~Author Unknown

Awwww. K, nuff of that business. I think I'm going to drag myself to the gym, even though I REALLY don't feel like going. At all. But I should. Yes. I should. So I'll be getting up. Now. Right aboooouuutttt...now. Urgh.

I'm going. Now.

I want Thanksgiving.
I hope I want Thanksgiving.

It's Halloween! I have the intense urge to watch Hocus Pocus- which is possible the best movie in the WORLD. Okay, not that great, but still. I hope it comes on tonight.

Still sick, but mending. Been sleeping a lot, drinking lots of fluids, even though I don't want them. My voice is still creaky, still coughing. If not better by tomorrow, I'll be buying Day/NyQuil.

No classes tomorrow, which makes me extraordinarily happy. NaNo starts tonight (well, tomorrow, technically, but tonight at midnight) and that's exciting. It gives me an excuse to stay at the computer doing nothing but writing. Yay! And the no classes thing? A definitely bonus.

Got my tentative schedule drawn up today for next semester. Kind of tough, but if everything works out, I'll only have on class on Friday. Woot for that!

Halloween is a really special time. Not quite uber-holiday status, and yet it's still magical in its own way. I love Hocus Pocus and black cats and lots of candy. That to me is Halloween. And pumpkins too. Boo!

Daylight Savings Time was yesterday, and I think I'm still adjusting. Extra hour, but it makes the days longer. I am very sick at the moment. Coughing, no voice. It seems to happen at the end of October every year. I thought I'd already had it, though. Everwood is on, that makes me happy. It's the oh noes x-rated abortion one haha. It's Halloween tomorrow, and that makes me happy. Kind of. I mean, I'm not really doing anything this year, and I'm sick too, so I don't even feel like decorating in the hallway tonight. Whatever. I'm going to go get some dinner and probably fall back into bed and watch tv and then sleep. Here's to hoping I feel better soon.

:)

Happy early Halloween

I'm glad tomorrow is Monday. I'm more than ready to put this entire week behind me.

*cue teenage angst*
Question: When you turn twenty, and you have angst, is it okay because you're not a teenager anymore?

I want to buy some books to read.

So it seems that, lately, a lot of people around me have been going through some really hard times. I don't know if it's just that I'm noticing it more, or if it's really true. But all around me I'm seeing relationships breaking up, going through troubles, and then some people going through some really horrible things. I'm wondering if it's just that time of year (fall is bringing winter which, although it's pretty, is notoriously sad), or if it's just life. I guess we're (we're being my friends) all getting a little older now, so we have more things to deal with.

But then again, there's some other people who never seem to run into any major problems at all. It's like bad luck avoids them religiously. And I'm thinking why is that? Why do some people seem to just get it all (even though I know everyone has problems), and then others really get the short end of the stick every time?

And then there's some people who so clearly deserve to have everything they want, because they're just such awesome people and they just...don't. It's not fair, but then again, life isn't, of course. But it just seems like something/someone- God, karma, fate, whatever, would eventually balance all this out in the end. Maybe it does. I guess it probably does. But then again some people just don't seem to ever catch any luck, while others just get it all handed to them.

Soooo this was a completely contradictory, nonsensical rant kind of thing, but I was just sitting here thinking about stuff and about the horrible, sucky things happening to people all at the same time. Is that how stuff happens and I've just missed it all these years? 'Cause then it always seems like good things happen all at once to people too, and then the people who've had it so good get the sucky end then.

I've confused myself.

Anyway, here's to hoping that the suckiness goes away for everyone experiencing it, and that the lucky bastards keep on being lucky.




"People always say life's not fair. But think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. I for one take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe."

Your Life Path Number is 4

Your purpose in life is to build your vision. You are practical and responsible. You work hard, knowing that there are no shortcuts in life. You work for a better life for yourself and those you love, but you are not an idealist. Trustworthy and honest, you also demonstrate great courage. People can count on you. In love, you are a loyal and committed partner. You are the ideal spouse. You don't give up easily, and sometimes you can be too stubborn and unwilling to change. You also can be too conservative at times. You sometime miss out on good opportunities. Also remember that not everyone can work as hard as you, as disappointing as that is!

Yay!

Your Passion is Pink

Innocent and naive, you approach sex with a virginal mindset. You tend to enjoy teasing and flaunting much more than actual sex. You're a notorious flirt, and you can pick up anyone you desire. As a result, your reputation is a lot steamier than your real sex life.

Aww! I hope that's not true!

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Mostly true, but I don't fall in love often at all.

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Well just how great am I?! hahaha

Your Love Style is Agape



You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Basically, I'm just awesome, apparently.

Slow and Steady


Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?



Uh...wtf? That's so completely not me. I guess they've gotta screw up once in a while.

The Keys to Your Heart



You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?





That's like 99% true. Woooowwww.

Your Values Profile



Loyalty:

You value loyalty highly.
You're completely devoted to your friends and family.
Even if they totally screw up, you're still there for them.
Just make sure they're equally loyal to you!

Honesty:

You don't really value honesty.
You do value getting your way, no matter what.
And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem.
A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!)

Generosity:

You value generosity highly.
So much so that you often put your own needs last.
There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart...
But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy.

Humility:

You value humility highly.
You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.
And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.
You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance a fair amount.
You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas.
You have very few prejudices that you're aware of.
And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

The Five Factor Values Test



That's pretty on the mark.

That's enough. These are too much fun.

It's a long week. Definitely, since I just said it's a long week and it's only Tuesday. I guess having four days off kind of spoiled me a little, ya think?

Anyway, I love the rain and all that, but the change in weather is making everyone sick, including me. So the rain and I, we gots a problem. Actually, the sun and I do too. All weather is just not cool right now haha.

However, I have a jumbo cookie sitting in front of me that cost me no money, and two gigantic bottle of tea and it smells like pumpkin and spice in our room, and it's cold and rainy outside and I'm warm and snuggly inside. Only a couple of things could make this better, rather a couple of people, and those are my two bestest friends D. and Esteban. I miss them like crazy, but then again I miss all my friends from back home like crazy.

Anyway, I have a wee bit of homework to attend to, a playwriting scene to revise and some Poli Sci. to read, but overall nothing too bad. I might also get a jump start on Thursday night's homework (*gasp* *shock* *horror* I know) just so, in case I end up doing anything Thursday, y'know, then my schedule will be clear. Just in case.

And on that note, I hate how everything always seems to happen on the same day. Case in point: I have to work Thursday. I can't take off because I took off last week for Fall Break. Not only do I need the money, but I don't want to let the parents down. So, I have to work until like 11 or 12. That's kind of sucky. Then, I have to go to class at 9:30 in the morning the next day (ew) and I can't skip because what do ya know after getting sick so much I can't afford to just not go to class (techincally I have one day I can skip, however, I want to save it). Then, at 2:15 I have a Writing Center appointment. So it's like hey let's pick the one day out of the school year Susanne actually wants to do something, and we'll fill it with non-fun things! But, whatever. It shall be fun either way. I deem it so.

Well, I have to go to the Lit House to pick up some creative writing homework and show Kelsy around. She's interested in locating the Lit House cat. However, Edith usually doesn't like to be located. Haha

I want to take some pictures. And am now wishing I took more this summer.

So today was the first day of classes after the spectacular four day weekend that was Fall Break. That's right, four whole days of no school, no classes, and no work.

It was marvelous.

However, it was over far too quickly, and because I migrated back home to Hlock where all the sick people apparently have been quarantined, I am sick. I feel great, but I have a fever and my throat's all raspy-like. In any case, classes are done for the day so I'm in bed doing work and dozing. Kind of nice, actually.

So over break I went to a soccer game back at home, went and spent a whopping $6.30 at Portside with Danielle (we still tip well :P), watched Day After Tomorrow and walked outside eaaaarly in the morning and got terrified by screaming cats/babies. And got terrfied by the silo/shed/scary moon that was retarded and wouldn't rise. Um, went on an adenvture to Easton, then Danielle and I went to the 4-H place yesterday and were archery groupies for the day. It was kind of great, when I got back I was so happily tired, it was great. And I shot a few arrows, and no one died! That, my friends, is what we call a successful day.

Now I must go and write a short dialogue with "crackly" dialogue, or some such stuff. Meh. I feel blah-y and don't want to write, but I suppose I don't have an excuse since I'm writing now. But informing everyone of my Fall Break adventures is way more fun than homework, duh!

Also, Facebook is my new addiction.

Quote of Fall Break: (as I stare sadly at my dead phone that won't turn on because of no battery): "It's like giving a crack addict crack, but not letting them use it."